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Hello! We are the Chillak-a

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

im hungry! yes i am!

today's a random day. i saw hafith and zazzzzz haha at pp today! u know harith?? from 52nd clt course. he works in challenger and i was there to get a new desktop. haha ok this is random nonsense.

i don't have much to say now. i realise tht my mind is only flooded with thoughts just before i sleep and by then, i'm just too lazy to get out from bed to blog. sometimes, it causes insomnia! darn it right?! hate it so much! i should actually take some dhasedyl from the clinic to make myself drowsy. hahaha! do u know drug addicts take them as a substitute to make themself high? welllll now u know! im hungry. this is a random thought. it actually shows tht im really hungry but i just plain lazy to look for food

it's gonna be march really soon and im scared. i want time to pass more quickly but then again, part of me don't want to. it's irritating,really. it's like an inner conflict. just one of the many.

so much has happened last year and i wonder wants install for me this year, so exciting ain't it? how evry decision or move can be a life changing one. i don't know if i've matured, remained the same or became more childish. it's really hard to tell when u don't see urself as who u really are. i wonder if u get what i mean. it's like most of the time, u see urself based on ur own thoughts while others judge u based on yer actions. so we will never exactly see the same person. how odd, same but not the same.

life is confusing isn't it? sometimes u think u know what u're doing but in fact, it's wrong. u're wrong. like a wrong move made in life.

i can't remember if i've blogged this before but here's it.
ever wondered if life is predestined or does every move make a difference in where u're heading?
it's like when someone dies because of u, do u say tht it's just time for that person to go and it has nothing to do with what u've done. it's a irrevocable change. just meant to be. or do u choose to believe that it's ur action which has caused the tragedy to happen? something which can be avoided.
we are suppose to make a choice right? like either believe that life is predestined or believe that our destiny is based on our every action and so everything we do would lead us to whichever path.
yet when we really make this choice, it end s up being a double edged sword. if we were to choose the former, then yes we get a consolation when someone dies. it's meant to be, nothing would have changed the outcome. so then is our life really planned out for us? it would mean tht we can never make a difference. nvr ever.
as usual, this is going nowhere. such a random post with everything randomly scattered, like the proteins on our csm. fluid mosaic. crap this

im hungry