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Hello! We are the Chillak-a

Thursday, March 4, 2010

today is one of the days i don't feel extreme emotions but feel like blogging.
well well i've got so many assignments, test and presentations piling up and i'm starting to feel the load. but that doesn't mean that i'm starting to work harder. that's the sucky part.

soooo many things to do yet so little time. how often are we stuck in this situation?? all the time? ha
i can be studying or doing my assignment now but yes im not. why?? is that even a ques if everyone know the answer? haha lalala

i think i have lost the motivation to study because im no longer aiming for honours. the more i tell others that i'm not doing my honours, the more convinced i become. i have started uni determined to do my honours. i even wanted first class honours. now..... all i want is to quickly complete this degree and then finding a job. i know anyone who has graduated and is working would think i'm insane and naive but this is the how i feel right now. when u have lost your motivation.... this is what you get.

i know very well what my motivation was in the past. or rather, who motivated me to study. now im as lost as a sheep. hahaha! bahhhhhh! no more motivator means no more motivation. i know i managed to pull through a levels without my motivator but that was different. i didn't want to disappoint. now that i'm just me alone and with a whole lot of stuff on my shoulder and mind, i don't know if this is all that important. yea you might think i'm crazy... how can getting a degree or rather completing my studies be unimportant?

having said all these, i wonder if this is just a passing phase of thought. maybe one day i'd realise that i'm actually suppose to be doing science. maybe one day. but now i just feel like this is not my thing. dumb? yea maybe?? i've said this before. memory work is not my forte. i have no talent in memorising things. i need to understand them. maybe i was wrong maybe i am right. can someone give me an answer? i think im psycho. like seriously.