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December 2007
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Thursday, April 30, 2009
i thought tmr's friday... haha
work work work! eeeeee sooooo grossss!!!! i wanna go outttt! eeeeee i can't go out on saturday cos i changed shift so that i can go for my SAT! bleah bleah bleah...... we can go out in Sunday!!! anyone??? ok la nvm we can always wait tillllllllll nexttttttt fridayyyyy!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! hahahhaha! siao! we can gooooooo out on next Saturdayyyyy tooooo!!!! orrrrr next sunday!!!!!!! lalalalalalalala!!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
when my head is strong, but my heart is weak
Im suuuuupppperr duuupppper HUNGRY! Im craving for a hell lot of food but i think i got toothache!
my teeth hurts whenever i eat chocolates... ): does that mean i have toothache?? hahahaha. anyone wanna follow me to the DENTIST?? eeeeee..NOOO!!! am i maaaaad? I HATED going to the dentist when i was in primary school! and i will always hate going to the dentist even till now. but.... I want to put bracessssss...! -_- u noe, that has always been my one of my childhood dream.. saraaaaaaah, u curi my childhood dream..! ): hahahahahahaha. actually i have ALOT more but of course i wont tell you all.heh. kklaaah, i need to get out of the house,cos if not i wont be able to study! rann!! if u want to buy ur hp casing at pp, just msg or call me ok.haha. (:
i need to get a casing for my phone cos i've got a tendency to drop my stuff!! sooo irritating!!! i dropped my phone on the bus just now and it ping ping piang piang down the steps! kns! now my phone has scratches at the side.... :( im gonna cryyyyyy! NOT! hahahhahahah! darn it la im gonna get the casing soon before i drop it another time! bleah!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
What day is it? And in what month?
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make, feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking But I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high The struggles I'm facing The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down But no, I'm not breaking I may not know it But these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most Just gotta keep going... I got to study for my management TEST tmr! ): and i REFUSED to study cossssssss, i don't know a single shit about the topic! = FINANCE??!? noe whyyyy? cos the smart me skipped school for both days that my teacher went through the WHOLE topic! means.... i skipped 4hours of lesson! -__- pandaaaaai righttt.. Daaaaaamn it la.I need to FOCUS! why cant i just stay in the school library and not go home?? at least i can just study and study and study and have NO life-for the next SIX months! you noe, I'm feeling daaaaamn scared but I'm not scared-scared.idk. i cant wait for A's to come but at the same time, i don't want to it to come-at all! sometimes i dont know if A's is really for me or not..isit? idk wth I'm talking about! i just noe that i cant wait to get out of mi BUT.... I'm not prepared to face the world!! UM? NUS? Work? or DAPUR! HAHA! idk.. Howwwwww...??? im scared. Life is unfair isn't it?? anw, i was asking haha(hayati) just now, "why are we so fickle?" straight away she said, cos we are GIRLS! ): really?? idontknowww... yadayadayada.. shutupla. I'll TRY to read my notes nowww...!! . I've been losing so much time
omg this sucks!!!!! i just realised tht the SAT test is on Saturday 2nd May and not 1st May!!! arghhhhh i got work on saturday morning and i can't find a replacement!!!!!! omg im sooo sooo dead! it's not that i need to go for SAT cos it'll affect my future but it's freaking hell 90USD!!!!! what the freak!!! shit la!!!! how can i just throw away money like that?!?!?!? blady hell! ommmmggggg!!!! i seriously can't find a freaking replacement!!! SHIT! i can't believe i mistook the dates! dam it la!!!! SHIT FACE!
need a list cos i'm lazy to type in sentences
aiyaaaaaa. OKAY! hahahahahaha. dianloveyoumanymny(:
Monday, April 27, 2009
haha we just realised that Spot is not being a stalker.. he's just taking care of my new doggy Obee! hahaha change name already! heh... on the other hand, Obee is a cunning little doggie!! keep giving spot surprise attacks and eating his food! Spot is soooo gentlemenly!!! cannot tahan! hahahah!!!!
lost and wandering, not knowing where to go
you litted the pathway and guided me through when u left so suddenly, i thought i'd be lost but u left me footprints to find my way home it's never ending, the pain will come back the thoughts will haunt me but there's no point looking back I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand I felt the earth beneath my feet Sat by the river and it made me complete Oh simple thing where have you gone I'm getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin . . i dont want to go school......... ): i dont want to stay home either..
Rann officially has 2 anjings in her house! hahahaha one named Spot, the other named Ashe! heh! ohhmannn sooooo cute!!! sorry arh my Melayu friends if u can't see the cuteness in my dogs. bear with me for a while... hahahahaha!!!!! now Spot has a friend. heh heh!!! oooooo sooo sweet! but Spot is quite irritating la... like other dogs always cannot tahan him cos he's sooo kaypo... dumb dumb dog! hahaha
goodnight my friends!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Maybe one day i'll wake up, and HOPE this will all just be a dream...
i wanna sleep but I'm hooked to wiki! (wiki sounds cool ayee..wiki kiki! )-_- hahahahahaha. i think my newfound love for history is reeeeaaaally growingggg..HAHA! I'm currently reading about the Western Wall(wailing wall) and its so interesting! i still have alot of things to find out about.
1. Israel-Palestine war.. 2. Cold war-arms race?? huh? 3. Genocide? 4. Ariel Sharon? 5. Druze! (this is interesting.haha) 6. North Korea vs south Korea 7. Spanish inquisition?? 8. Bonnie and Clyde! 9. Polpot, Khmer rouge?!? 10. ISLAM!! ((: heh. . kkklaaah.. I'm supposed to be studying!not finding out abt history! but...nvm la.heh. and all i noe that, i definitely wont be reading THE RAPE OF NANKING A.N.Y.M.O.R.E! sickest book in the whole wide world!!! make me wanna puke! -__- hahahahahahahahaha. esplanade lib or mp lib? heh..idk. okie dokie! goodnight monkeys! (: The truth hurts, a lie is worst...
i should be sleeping now. but blah im not sleepy and and and i dont wanna sleep...
sometimes i wonder if i should take the chance and tell the truth... well the true wouldn't hurt hurt but might hurt ones pride. Goodnight
Saturday, April 25, 2009
isit wrong if i hate someone I loved and someone who loves me back(or so i thought) ?
tell me.. isit wrong?? i dont know.. i dont dare to say anything cos im scared of.. Everything! . . your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
Family Potrait
one day she will tell you that she has had enough its coming round again
Friday, April 24, 2009
Culture Unplugged Video
goodness me! have i really lost my IC?? dam it la! shit face! freak shit face! hahaahahaahhahahaha!!!! i've searched the whole house man and there's nothing!!!!! not nothing nothing la... my house is filled with junks!!!! hahahha like garang guni home like that... blah!!!! hahahaha
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I am so aaaangrrry cos i cant find my book!
ok,my booklet. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........!!! I feel so irritated with myself cos i thought i wouldnt need the booklet, so i just chucked it one side yesterday.but nowww..i realised i need it! how dumb how dumb..!! why do i always forget where i put my stuff!? ishk! i deserved a big STM on my forehead! -_____- HAHAHAHA! i think i should just try to forget about the booklet, then maybe it'll appear! you noe like how we will always find our 'lost' stuff ESPECIALLY when we DON'T need it anymore.ediot right.haha! anws, i think have a newfound love for history! HAHAHAHA. i dont know.i just like to learn about history but i have no freaking idea why i took econs!! cos i thought history would be like those history we took when we were in sec 1 and 2.i hated history at that time!hahaha. u noe after reading (abit) about 'The Rape Of Nanking,' i feel like puking whenever i see that book! urrrgh.. i feel so sick and the pictures are DAMN DISTURBING! okokokokok.shut up. hahahahahahaha. yadayadayada. if anyone wanna tell me about any history, I'll gladly listen! ((: but not ur love history laaa..-_- HAHAHA!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
sometimes my dreams are so wonderful, i'd wished they were real. too bad they are just dreams....
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
i wanna curl up like a child
I think I am falling............................. s.i.c.k. ):
but on the bright side, tmr's EMDD! EMDD! EMDD! (:
I am f.r.e.a.k.i.n.g P.I.S.S.E.D with my Econs teacher!!!
if i could, i wanna screeeeeaaaam at her face and ask her to JUST SHUT UP!! Daaamn it la.she's not helping me at all. instead, she demoralised my fren and me! and this is not the first time..!! i noe im not good enough, but can she at least NOT do that!! freak her, she think we have no feelings isit??bloody inconsiderate human being! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!!! and when i kept quiet throughout the lesson, she said why am i showing her that face..?? WHAT FACE??!?!?! -________- THIS!? "Mrs ____, im having a freaking headache because of you, you noe that??! and im feeling bloody sleepy cos ur lesson is freaking boring!! and the reason i try my best to respond in your class is for my own sake! get it?? " if only i can say that straight to her face! but i wont!! cos im not like you!! haaaaaaaaaaa!!! BREATHE... BREATHE... smile(: i wanna go pp! seeya tmr frens((:
Monday, April 20, 2009
teach my heart to speak
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us." Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence.. (: Have a good weak ahead, friends! (i promised I'll be a good girl and wont get distracted.i promised k.hahaha. please knock my head if i play too much or if i go online for too long.but don't ignore me totally laaa.I'll delete u guys off my FB and i wont talk to you all-a.n.y.m.o.r.e! all the more good right..whatever! HAHAHAHA! )
i wanna go for emdd soooo badly!!!!! mannn! i shall thin of a way to bribe my colleague!!!! maybe i should pay them extra to take over my shift! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
anyone wanna watch RevolutionaryRoad???
its acted by my ex husband! LEONARDO DICAPRIO!! ((: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. (anw, u noe i didnt noe we can change the date and time of our post! -_-) HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIY THE SOTONG!! ((: *i still remember your sotong dance u noe..classic!* kklaah, since you're 9teen already,i wont call u sotong anymore.. *like real* Anw, sorry if i have done anything wrong to you, hurt you, make fun of you, laugh at you, call u sotong 24/7 (last time) or whatever la kay. i just wanna say, semoga panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki.. (: amin. da besar, jangan menyusahkan orang ye. hahahahaha. kiddingg! . 3R(:
Saturday, April 18, 2009
E is for Engine School
We go Huha Huha ENGINE SCHOOL!! xinfinty
:) I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! Hahahahahaa! Know what, I actually slept in school on Fri night as well cos I was too tired to go home. Lol!! Ok , I'm gonna go sleeeep!! Updates later, who going Sentosa tmr? One touch and i'll be in, too deep now to ever swim against the current, so let me slip away
Friday, April 17, 2009
I/we saw that braces, fred flare guy again!
we were like those girls gushing over cute boys! *gatal nohhhh...*HAHAHAHAHA. nolaaah.mad arrr.. we're COOL. -______- okk.seeyalater! (:
wahhhh sooo irritating!!!! how can something which used to make me feel happy make me feel sooo sick now!!!!! hahahahaha nothing serious actually. that someting is FOOD!!! hahahaha im feeling giddy now! eeeeee hahahaha
Thursday, April 16, 2009
sometimes my mind play tricks on me
what happened to our DREAM band??!? dream-on-band.heh! saraaaah, i still have that picture in my wallet OK. one year and still counting.hahaha(: Neo prints = family business! da cacat still got campus superstar fever!! haha. Ahhhhh.. GOOD OL' DAYSSSSS (: . Life can be such a mess and yet at the same time, it can be so wonderful! I've never believed that our life is full of problems (though i always complain to you guys about my dumb and tak perlu problems!) haha. The way we see our life shapes your life.I guess it really depends on how we view it..Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, and sometimes you just go round and round and hope you'll find an answer.but what answer? haha!crap. Anw,during malay lit just now, we had this so called debate/argument or whatever it is.its regarding the text we're reading now. the question was, "should a girl from a poor family still marry a rich guy despite knowing the future consequences.." or something like that.haha.should or not?? at first, i was sitting on the fence, but then i changed my mind and disagreed that the girl should marry the guy.idk..hahahahahaha. it feels funny cos my class was divided into two while i just sat at the back of the class-stoning and talking to fafa! hahahahahahahaha. i did contribute okaaay, i just said, cinta itu buta.. HAHAHAHAHA.corny! i think im gonna love malay lit class if my teacher were to continue doing this kind of debate thingy.hahaha! at least it keeps me awake and its interesting you know..cos you can actually see your own frens personality and their view on-l.o.v.e! hahahaha. step faham je semua.bebual berkobar2 pasal hati, perasaan dan perkhawinan! cheh. korang da pernah kahwin ke? hahahahaha. . ayeeee... actually i came here not to blog about this, but i guess, some things are better left unsaid.hahahaha! i noe I'm being irritating,but whatever la k. yadayadayada.. . PLEASE REMIND ME TO STUDY! IM BLOODY SCARED ACTUALLY. BUT IM MORE SCARED THAT IM NOT MAKING AN ENOUGH EFFORT TO STUDY HARD! IDK. KNOCK MY HEAD!! how now brown coww?? hahahahahahaha. Aku kan menghilang Dalam pekat malam
God put a smile upon your face
![]() ![]() Why do you build me up Buttercup baby just to let me down And mess me around And then worst of all You never call baby When you say you will But I love you still I need you More than anyone darlin' You know that I have from the start So build me up Buttercup Don't break my heart I'll be over at ten You tell me time and again But you're late I wait around and then(bah-dah-dah) I went to the door I can't take any more It's not you You let me down again Baby Baby I try to find a little time And I'll make you happy I'll be home I'll be beside the phone Waiting for youuu oooooo...oooo..ooooo.. ((: how can i forget about this song!??!!!? O_o this was (and still) my all time favourite since we're in secondary school!! yay! idk why, but I'll feel HAPPY whenever i listen to this song.hahahahahaha! (: so, if u guys feel sad, emoemo, frustrated, feel like jumping off the building, wanna scream out loud or just simply thinking of meeeeee... (perasan ehh): ), please listen to this song kayy.. it'll put a smile on your ugly face.HAHAHAHA! kidddinggg..
Monday, April 13, 2009
Ola.. Tmr, I'll be off for Orientation! :) Which means I'll be coming back home with a fever/sore throat/camp-fever! Engine cheers! Lol!! Yay!! Anyone wanna meet up after my camp?? Hahahhaaha!! Engine oiiiiiiii!
Reminder: Get small bottles of Shampoo&Conditioner for myself and T Fill 2 small bottles of liquid soap Oh yah, I didn't know you all actually went to Johor that time. Heh.
what's the story, morning glory?
Romeo, take me somewhere we could be alone, I'll be waiting, All that's left to do is run, You'll be the prince, And I'll be the PRINCESS, It's a love story Baby just say yes... lalalalalalalalala. I'm stuck to that sooooonggg!!! thanks to HAHAHAHAYATI! -____-" I'm bored, (NOT BORING OK) and thats the reason why I'm here now! (: I'm waiting for my frens cos they're having some cca meeting now u noe, i think I'm the slackest in school, in terms of cca laa. maaaaybe studies also.heh. action je ncc,padehal2.. haha! anw, as im blogging, im looking at the soccer girls having their training.. I'll tell u all a secret kay.. i wanna join the soccer girls actually...!!! ): but, i don't really like the people.idk.. and im too maluu.. LOL! anw, its kinda too late already.. haiz. u noe, everytime during p.e and we're playing volleyball, i'll secretly use the volleyball and action kick2 like as if its some soccerball!! berangan soccer player only..kaki bangku! -_- HAHAHAHAHA! NOW, its not a secret alreadyyyy righttt.. ): please dont tell anyone kkk. at least to those who never read this blog laa.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! whatever luhhh.. kklaaaaah.dream on riaaaaaa!!! OOOOOooohhhhh..i wanna buy tako ballssss!! ((:
Sunday, April 12, 2009
SO LOOONNGG?!?!?!?! -____-
amek kau! hahaha. i cant believe i wrote that long!!
You can be my bonnie,I can be your clyde
BLOGGED! . . . . HAHAHAHA. saya tidak tahu ape yang saya hendak cakap disini. saya memblog sekarang kerana saya ade seorang kawan giler yang suka membaca. hahahahahaha. okokoklaah.. actually, i wanna say this, someone please edit this blog kaaay.. so cacat laa. i dont really noe how to do all those codes2.sry ehh. . Anwss.. Today was a GRRREEEAAAAT dayee! a SATURDAY well spent with ANJING PANAS, SI TIKUS dan SI MONDOK! HAHAHAHAHA. (: a happy stomach makes the world go rounddd and roundd like our Buncit. ohhwheeeee.. all of us should go jb one fine day kkk.. then I'll bring all of you to my sis house and my kampung! *if you all dont mind* if only everyday is like thisss, i think the world would be a better place. no gossiping.no bitching.no dumb assumptions.no conflicts. NO NONSENSE. hahahahahaha. im not hinting to anyone. yang sudah tu sudah laa.contradict hurr.. but, 'tepuk dada, tanya selera la ehh..' quote of the day! (: yadayadayada.. gua ngantuk sihh.gua mahu masuk tidur.. kklah.. goodnight!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
errrrr wheres the tag board>??? hahahahahaha i slept at 5am and woke up at 8. i am freaking sleepy!!!!!!!! but watever la! wheres the tag board??? hahahahaha
Friday, April 10, 2009
Ayeeee.. sape yang cakap aku buat kerja setengah jalan hurrr...?? -_____-
RiaRazianyRazak didnt change the layout luhh.. i just helped to choose only.. thanks to Dian kecik also. (: JuneLioShuXin will change and edit it, Sooooon! korang buat lah ape2 yang patut ehh.aku tak faham benda2 IT! hahahahaha.okokok. and please make the tagboard and all the other stuff in one page can..? i lazy to click2..heh. Anwssss..i think i loveeeeee Tamp1 now.right June!! cheh..baru 2 hari bukak, da suka.. hahahahahaha! but so sad u noee, there's VERY LITTLE halal food around.. ): i think century square is still the best cossssssss, there's a halal foodcourt!! hahahaha. a happy stomach makes the world go round.. wheeeee!! ((: kkkk..seeya! and June, this is not a song lyric or any of my crap! HAHAHAHA.
Ri-aaaaaaa! Where's the tagboard code? You ah, buat kerja setengah jalan haiyo-maaaaaa. But eh I like the vintage blogskin. I was looking for that kinda skin sey. haha. :) Oh yah, I'm going cycling tmr morning/afternoon/petang. Pls pray it doesnt rain! Heh!
:)
see the below blogskins, i think its not that bad..hahahaha.
but there's so many to choose from noww! heh. kkk. im scared and i wanna sleep.goodnight and happy good friday people! (: any of you all going out tmr? idk yet.. . . http://blogskins.com/info/105878 . http://www.blogskins.com/info/20037
Thursday, April 9, 2009
i'm all up to suggest a flashing background..
but i know de onli response i'll get is a unanimous NO! correct? hahah. alamak.. i read back my prev post n de amount of typos ahh.. cnnt make it sia. but wdvla.. u guys are de only ppl i need to understand. (: ohoh! i got song suggestions!
okdah! and i just ate tang teahouse for dinner!! but det STILL doesnt change de state of things. dianlovechillakamanymany(:
Songs List
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Yellow - Coldplay Viva la Vida - Coldplay You Found Me - The Fray How To Save A Life - The Fray Over My Head - The Fray Mad - Ne-yo Miss Independent - Ne-yo Far Away - Nickelback I'm Yours - Jason Mraz Make It Mine - Jason Mraz Can? Any others?
http://blogskins.com/info/127080
. http://blogskins.com/info/123087 . http://blogskins.com/info/259890 Saraaah, u noe some of the blogskins u posted, i wanted to use it for our blog last time! but in the end i choosed our current blogskin. -_- hahaha.its time to change!!! yaye! (: anywayssss.. I WENT TO TAMPINES 1 with my parents just nowwww! im such a typical kiasu singaporean eh.. shopping centre baru bukak, terus nak pergi! HAHAHAHA! actually we had dinner at simpang and after that i was bored, so i psycho-ed my parents to go there.heh. u noe, everyone was like so jakun, point here, point there, look up, look down..even my parents and me were doing the same thing.hahaha! i think the place is quite coooool ayee, but i didnt get to go upstairs. ): whatever la, there's still tmr or tmr or tmr or tmr...haha. ohhohh.. i paid my hp bill alreadyyy!! F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. i survived without my fone for 3 days! u noe its sooo daamn leceh to not have your fone around.i thought it will be easy and i'll be okay, but NO! everytime i need to use the phone, its soooo freaking LECEH and DIFFICULT to just find ONE DAMN PUBLIC PHONE!! where have all the pay phone gone to hurrrr..just because 3/4 of the population in singapore is already using hp or whatever mobile devices, that doesnt mean they can campak all the public phone to longkang righttt..??!?! irritatinggg. okokokok.im just being petty here. hahahahaha. . starlight-muse ingkar-bunga citra lestari!! (: hahahaha. broken strings-james morrison kiss me through the phone-soulja boy right round-flo rida semua tentang kita-peterpan unwell-matchbox 20 wonderwall-oasis i dont mind BLINK 182! ((: or britney spearsss! or spice girls! or backstreet boys!! HAHAHAHA.
blogskins
choose, please! or if there are others that you want to use, then post it up. :)
http://blogskins.com/info/138924 http://blogskins.com/info/195665/ http://blogskins.com/info/186800 http://blogskins.com/info/185426/ http://blogskins.com/info/232232/ http://blogskins.com/info/249606 http://blogskins.com/info/253844
Show me what i'm looking for
I came here with the fullest intention to blog and change the blogskins and the songs on the flashfetish but I did it for my blog(s) instead. Hehe. Jangan marah...
Oh yah I got diarrhoea. Kanasai. I was at the hospital just now to accompany my grandmother ( I pushed her in the wheelchair) and then when she and my aunt went in to see the doctor, I rushed to the toilet. Twice. Eeeyer. Seoul Garden lah....... I swear I'm still full from yesterday. Announcement: Cotton On is having a sale....!! Blardy hell. I went again just now, at Novena ,while my aunt and grandmother went to see another doctor and had their lunch. Got another top. Lol. Hahahhhaa. I like, I like, I like! oh another announcement: Tampines 1 is open! The first thing I saw was.. TOPMAN! Which means, topshop! Hehhee! I'll bet it's damn crowded cos it's the first day of opening today. Tmr will be even more crowded when I go there. Haha! :) Typical Kiasu Singaporean. Why'd you have to wait Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me.. ♥
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
hellooooooooooooooo!!!!!
im super bored right now. like really bored but i just don't wanna move my ass to do something useful. if i'm ever gona move out of this chair, i'm gonna head for the bed which would mean that i'll probably end up sleeping till god knows when! i can't stand my laziness. like who the hell lazes sooooo much! im a pig! darn it la!! hahahahaha psycho! byeeee!!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I've not been to this blog for a few days and it feels weird how all of us are talking about trust and hurt these few days..isn't it? even in school, the teachers are talking about trust, truth and lies.. whats going on??i don't even noe myself.they always say we should tell the truth.but what happens if the truth hurts? at least its the truth right? idk.i think I'd rather not tell the truth and lie if the i noe the truth will hurt.but then again, i cant bring myself to lie to someone, especially to the people i love. i wouldn't mind if i lie to myself cos at least i noe im nt hurting others.or so i thought. but by lying to myself, am i hurting myself? or am i being a hypocrite?crap. this whole thing about truth and lie is really confusing me.. and one of my fren will always tell me this, the truth hurts, a lie is worst.. yea.i noe that, cos I've been singing it whenever the teacher talks about~truth. ha! actually there's so many things i want to talk about but i just cant. i think i've learnt alot these past few days/weeks. about him, about her, about them, about us, about the past, about the future, about family, about love, about trust, about liars, about pretenders, about friendship, about being hurt(heh)... all about life!
-____________- I'm still learning.haha. having said that,i forgot what i wanted to say. nvm.. anw,my mother and me had a long talk the other day.i guess i really need to change-for the better.i need to be more tegas and stand up for my own rights..I'll try.. (: on a happier note, i donated blood just now! Hayati too! ((: it was kinda painful at first, cos the lady said my vein is VERY SMALL! so its difficult for them to POKE the needle in! #@$#%$^! but later she said, "don't worry, your vein small, but firm! so can..." -_- hahahahahahahahaha. i wanted to laugh out loud when i heard that. u noe, my hands felt damn cold cos i was obviously scared! but i kept reminding myself that what if i were the one in need of the blood or any of my family member is in need of it? it doesn't hurt actually..yadayada. anw,the girl beside me fell sick and she felt giddy after donating her blood! it only make me more scared! i kept psycho-ing myself that i wont feel giddy and I'll be strong! yarr right! i felt like one drunkard when i reached west mall cos my head was spinning like a gasing.hahahaha. okokok. enough with my story. heh. . lying on the floor,where were you?
hello and goodmorning..
sometimes i think im mad. like psycho kinda mad! is that normal? someone please tell me i'm not the only onefeeling this way.. but of course, if u're clinically proven to be mad then don't bother telling me u feel that way too. i'll go berserk. well well so what have i got to say now? actually nothing or maybe something but it's just stuck somewhere at the back of my mind. i've got to wake up early tmr but i don't think i can sleep soo i'm just trying to kill time here. yes im a sinner coz im trying to kill something so precious. i bet i mentioned this before. about how time is endangered and yet time and time again, we try to kill them. welll the evils of mankind. im no angel and yes we all know it cos no one is. but its still soo irritating and hurtful to hurt someone else. the hurtful things i say to others kills me especially if i say it to someone who is very important to me. i hate the feeling of hurting someone i don't wanna hurt at all but sometimes i think i do it cos of the hurtful things the other person has said and that sucks cos it shows how petty i am! im evil i swear i am. and maybe even psycho. there's something seriously wrong with me but u just don't know it. i'm psycho, petty, evil and flawed! well im human then. ha! funny! u see i think im psycho! hello and goodmorning! after i wake up in the morning/afternoon, it shall be a new day but the old me!
Monday, April 6, 2009
i came to this space with the full attention wanting to blog abt sumting on my mind..
but noe wad? i feel like an ass. cos i kinda made pushed myself into this position despite warnings. it started of innocently without me even relising it. 1 noticed, 2 noticed, 3 noticed..now4 noticed. wad confuses me is det i nvr had de intention to. things just slipped into the way it is now. i feel like such a bitch. not being fair to either party. feel so blinded, confused..underwater. like sumting is pulling me down in the water, n i just want to reach the surface. i hate it when i get problems that i subconsciously created myself. and i hate it even more when i'm not doing anything to resolve it. but its not so simple as to 'resolve' things. cos i duno wads wrong or right. 1 step, and i might lose sumthing det means so much to me.. or lose sumting i'll never get to see its worth. i hate decisions. especially decisions that we cant undo cos hurting is inevitable. n hurt isnt sumting one can erase. ppl keep telling me to follow my heart. but wdf does my heart wants? hate problems. hate decisions. hate hurting. but dets wad makes life isn't it? one thing i'm sure about is i'm going deeper, i'm not doing anything to stop myself and 1 fine day i know sure as hell i'm gng to regret this. either way, i'll regret. God bless me. have a great day lovelies..
6th April 2009. how time flies.............
not so long ago, things had been very different. April 2008 feels like yesterday. i'm not exaggerating, really. cos to me, it really feels like well.... yesterday. things, circumstances, people and sooo many other things had been so different then. the gradual change in ones lifestyle and the people around you has made me wonder if life was ever different before. was this who i was before? 10 years ago, or maybe just 1 year. has this always been me? i've learnt. yes literally learnt in the last year that choices can make a big difference and impact on the future. well it probably sucks even more when you know that it'll affect someone else's too. yes, i do count myself lucky that at least i've got a place in uni already but since we humans have unlimited wants and is constantly insatiable, of course i would want my nus accptnce too. but that would pose another problem too as then i'll have to make a choice and weigh the opportunity cost of declining either one. it's never easy cos we're talking about the future now and not any instant gratification. to put it more seriously, my future is at stake. ha! what a joke. so ntu or nus? i have to think really carefully cos i dont wanna make another wrong choice. making a wrong choice for this would in the future prove to be too big a mistake. choosing science over other subjects has already made me liable to a life long mistake but since there is no turning back..... then i'll just have to live with it. well then maybe if i just eeni meeni mini more..... i'll be able to make a choice between the 2 and then just let things iron out in the future...... right maybe. omg this post wasn't even suppose to be about uni but i guess i probably just deviated from my actual point cos uni is currently on my mind.
all alone,smoking his last cigarette
This time, This place Misused, Mistakes Too long, Too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just oneleft' Cause you know, you know, you know
Friday, April 3, 2009
RANN TAN!!!!! YOU GOT ACCEPTED INTO UNI ALREADY!!!!?!?! YAYE! I'M SO PROUD OF YOUUUUU..! ((((((: hahahahhahahaha. . . . Anyways... since its TGIF, and we're not meeting up, I've decided to go cycling at ecp after this. (: actually i was watching this Japanese movie about a girl, who is inflicted with a rare skin disorder that prevents her from being exposed to sunlight. she fell in love with a surfer, who always makes his way to the sea to surf before sunrise. their path crosses and they fell in love under the midnight sun! cheh! hahahahahahaha. so....after watching that movie, i felt like going to ecp to cycle and see the moon, the stars and all the ships! wheeee.. hahahahahahaha. I'm not saying that i want to be like the girl or whatsoever ok. i just want to take a DEEP BREATH! LOL. and my mum thinks that im too rajin and freeee! -_- nothing to do, then find things to do lor.. HAHA. kkkk.. see yaaa!
hmmm ok i've just received my letter of acceptance from ntu for bio science. my first choice but im actually waiting for nus acceptance cos i think thts the place i wanna go to because fickle me would rather go nus since nus accepts u into the faculty of science and u only choose ur major after 1 or 2 years soooo i wouldn't have to make a choice so quickly. plus plus i can choose to do a second major in sayyyy business or psychology?? in nus or or or if i do well enough, i can go to gms upon graduation! hahaha alright enough said. im just glad tht i have a place to go but is science really the thing for me???? well too early to say but to late to back out
Thursday, April 2, 2009
SARAH BINTI LEFTENAN ADNAN! *its been so looong since i last called you that!* CHEER UP YO! HAHAHAHA. Everything Happens For A Reason! money is not everything. you still have US!! and ur bf. heh cornyshit.i noeee.hahahaha. Don't worry, i wont say anything here. ((: . just enjoy the show.. lalalalala
Hey guys, please don't say anything on this blog. I don't want any of my family to find out. :( You can write under saved drafts, but not published. I really appreciate it very much.
Hais... Maybe one day in the future and look back at the most stupidest thing I've done. BOOO!!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
i stalled the car twice today! the traffic light thus turned from green to red again!!! hahahaha lucky there was no car behind me.... driving at night is really different. haha for a moment, i couldn't get use to changing the gear cos i couldn't see it!!!!!! how dumb. i think im addicted to driving! haha he made me drive to paya lebar la! scare me sia! i stopped at the bus stop outside singapore post. scary u know cos i was afraid that the bus behind would crash into me! hahaha siao!
yes, talking about life gets sucky at times cos it reminds you that time is not waiting for you and u ARE growing old. and of course, age comes with more responsibilties just as ranks do. we're 19 now or maybe 18+ but whats the difference? we are all, to put it crudely, aging. it sucks to know that as the days pass, we're to have more responsibilities which of course comes with more decisions to make. but what we're experiencing now is probably just a minute part of responsibility which will increase as we grow older. we'll definitely have more to worry about in the future. when everyone we use to depend on starts passing on, we'll have no one left but urself to depend on. the cruel truth of life is as such. life is a vicios cycle BUT.... lets think on the brightside, are all these really that bad? how cruel is it? if it's really so difficult, how did the older generation survive them? we claim to be better. more knowledgeable and maybe wiser than the older generation so shouldn't we be able to cope better even with the rising standards? we are afterall suppose to be better right? UNLESS.... we were never better. |